WP1: Learning How to Write for Myself While Writing for Profs

Part 1

Much of my writing since entering college has been for school and my professors. My major is very analytically oriented and calls for much materialized analysis. I have been lucky enough to have been given many opportunities to choose how I would like to express my findings and/or opinions. My professors have offered different mediums, whether it be a traditional paper or a visual essay, I have been encouraged to embrace writing in all forms—similar to how I believe this class encourages. Although my cohort and I have been continuously encouraged to expand our writing, the prompts are often… underwhelming to say the least. They can also be very repetitive—for the past three years, I have been writing about the same movies with the same prompts. It has become formulaic and feels a lot less free than one would imagine. 

“Analyze the sequence by mobilizing at least three distinct theoretical concepts that we have read about and discussed so far in the semester. You may do so in three different parts of the essay or you may follow a more fluid structure by highlighting connections among the three theoretical approaches evoked.” This is an example of a question for an in-class midterm I took last semester, this is very similar to many of the essay questions I have encountered during my time at USC. This specific prompt was for CTCS 473 (Film and Media Theory), there was limited time and we had to write on our laps as the class was in a screening room. This is often the environment I have to write in while in class. The TA who graded my paper was incredibly critical and honestly gave me the worst imposter syndrome I’ve felt since starting at USC. He was very vague with his written feedback, so I sent an email to him with very specific questions about his feedback. His reply to me essentially said to come in and talk to him so he can tell me in person why my paper was so bad. The entire experience really made me question my writing abilities and made me feel incredibly inferior. The professor and TA’s were very critical and obviously looking for something very specific, which was not (and is often not) communicated in the rubric/syllabus. Blue book exams are also often a form of writing I’ve been tasked with throughout my time here. We are given a sheet of paper with multiple prompts and we are to complete them all by hand in the blue book… on our laps. I will admit that I have seen significant improvement in my writing, even if many of the prompts are similar. I am able to efficiently organize my thoughts and express them clearly. I often have my friends or even my mom proofread my work. Having another pair of eyes and receiving feedback from my peers has been very helpful and I enjoy being able to teach or show someone something they may not have seen before.

When I was a second semester freshman, I took WRIT 150. It was over zoom, and my professor was actually a substitute teacher I had in high school. Professor Michelle Meyers is a lovely person and is incredibly caring and lenient. However, I did not feel challenged in that class. I don’t remember much from that class, as it was online and in the Spring of 2021. However, I do remember that we had to make logical outlines and write essays in different sections before culminating one’s work. I do not write well this way. It is how I was taught in high school, we were given a sheet of paper with a picture of a very large sandwich, each ingredient and layer representing different parts of the essay. We were then tasked with sectioning our essay and completing each part on its own. It felt very disorganized ironically and I had a hard time piecing everything together, as it sounded discombobulated. 

Last semester, on April 5th, my dog passed away suddenly. I was getting ready for class, I was to show a short film I had made for an assignment, and I got a phone call from my dad. He was frantic, unable to get a hold of my mom, as she and my sister were away in New York. I was able to reach my mom and told her to call my dad right away. My dad called me back a few minutes later and solemnly told me that I should meet him at the vet. 

My two dogs, Hawkins and Hamilton, were being boarded at a dog hotel while my mom was in New York. My dad works long hours and didn’t want to leave them alone for long hours. Hamilton was an older dog who had some health problems, as many older shih-tzu’s do. We had no idea he was even at the vet, they had called my dad to inform him of what Hamilton’s condition was. When I arrived, I was escorted into a room where my dad was waiting for me. I had only ever seen him cry one other time, when his father passed. It was one of the worst experiences of my life, I was in a daze for weeks. I was very close with my dog, he was my best friend, and now Hawkins would have to learn that his brother wasn’t coming back. 

School was a bit rough for me after we put Hamilton down, I missed a couple classes and was able to take a make-up assignment for my class entitled History of International Cinema 2. I hardly remember writing it, and about a week later, my TA asked me to stay after class. My blood ran cold—I already knew what it was about. I made a poor decision many college students opt to make. He sat me down on an SCA balcony, and pulled out a copy of my page-long paper. “I know you used Chat GPT to write this paper.” He was very understanding and even let me redo the assignment. That conversation was a wake-up call for me, I knew I couldn’t glide my way through the rest of junior year. 

I think it is worth it for me to discuss a piece of writing I did for myself, and my dog, Hamilton. After he passed, my mind and body were numb. I drove home in silence and stopped listening to music and watching movies and television on my own. My mind was so loud, there was no room for me to consume anything else. I was finally able to write down the thoughts that had been festering in my brain. I wrote a letter to Hamilton. I haven’t shown it to anyone, but I have it for myself. It was a very passionate and emotional piece, very few times have I felt as captivated by a piece of writing I have curated.

Part 2

Last semester, I curated a photo essay for my Film and Media Theory course final. For the assignment, we were asked to write an essay that delved into different theoretical paradigms and how they relate to the lessons we've learned over the course of the semester. My professor encouraged us to try various mediums instead of sticking to the usual written essay format. I decided to focus on the use of mirrors in cinema and how they use “complex themes of identity, self-reflection, and the examination of outside perspectives.” I chose to look further into the topic of mirrors in cinema and how they are used to convey meaning and symbolism. I divided my "essay" into different sections, selected my favorite iconic mirror scenes, and thoroughly examined the use of reflections. I wanted my reader to understand why mirrors are used in cinema and how they can symbolize more than just a reflection. 

I enjoyed how the assignment let me experiment with different mediums as opposed to just writing a typical essay. I had fun researching and exploring different forms of communication. I made the decision to challenge myself and explore the visual language of cinema. I ultimately decided to curate a photo essay to visually illustrate what I had learned. In contrast to a traditional written paper, I found that a visual essay allowed for a more in-depth examination of the complex concepts associated with mirrors in cinema.

In cinema, mirrors are often not what they appear to be. They are used as powerful tools to convey hidden messages and engage viewers in different dimensions. I explored the symbolism and meaning behind the reflection by analyzing mirror scenes from different films. In my essay, I talked about how the mirror is important in psychoanalytic film theory; how it's not just about seeing one's reflection in the mirror, but also about looking at oneself from an outside perspective. In my photo essay, I dedicated each section or slide to a specific still from a film. Each section included the still itself and my analysis of the use of the mirror(s). During my analysis, I found that the mirror often symbolizes identity, which is far different from reflection. Mirrors in cinema are often used as symbols to represent self-discovery, transformation, and the complexity of one's identity. In Jordan Peele’s Us, mirrors are used as a recurring theme to effectively explore ideas of identity and self-reflection. In the photo essay, I focused on how the mirror, as a cinematic tool, serves as a gateway to better comprehend the characters (Through the Looking Glass). It gives audiences a chance to see the intricate layers of their identities.

Mirrors serve as tools for self-reflection in addition to representing identity. Characters can confront their inner demons, anxieties, and desires thanks to them. The use of the mirror emphasizes the overriding sense of isolation and loneliness that permeates Martin Scorsese's Taxi Driver. Travis clearly struggles to connect with others, and the mirror represents his internal conflict and flawed self-perception. I concentrated on how mirrors operate as tools for character exploration, capturing not only the characters' outward appearances but also their most inner thoughts and flaws (Through the Looking Glass). Mirrors in cinema offer a special vantage point to examine various outside perspectives. Mirrors are frequently used by directors to present audiences with other viewpoints, which might question their expectations and assumptions. They give viewers a fresh insight, allowing them to reconsider their own assumptions and consider the situation from numerous perspectives.

I decided to present my findings as a photo essay because it gave me the opportunity to connect with my audience in a more visual and emotional way. Instead of just using words, I incorporated images from the chosen films to visually convey the ideas I was exploring. This way, the viewer could experience what I saw firsthand. I put a lot of effort into choosing the right images and composing my work in order to evoke emotions and make people think. My goal was to make the cinematic experience more meaningful and thought-provoking. I had a really fulfilling experience exploring the world of mirrors and it offered my audience a truly immersive experience. Mirrors in cinema go beyond being simple reflective surfaces—they serve as gateways into the human mind, encouraging viewers to explore intricate themes on a deeper level. When I reflect on past assignments, it's clear to me how much I've grown creatively and personally through this photo essay. This not only shows how much I've grown as a student, but also reflects my passion for visual storytelling and the endless opportunities it presents in the world of cinema. 

Bibliography

Pashkow, Mirabelle. “Through the Looking Glass.” 2023. Microsoft PowerPoint.